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Confusion in the air

September 7th, 2009 at 09:12 pm

(Sung to the same tune as "Love is in the air").

I've been noticing a lot of confusion the past few days with my life.

1) I had fun at work yesterday. And that made me question my decision to quit. Did I do the right thing by finding a new job and turning in my notice? I think so. One good day does not outweigh the many reasons I am leaving. But I have been there for a couple years and it is hard to say goodbye.

2) Marriage. I want to get married. Fiance wants to get married. Our families are mostly happy that we are engaged. But they don't want us to get married now. Or in a year. They want us to wait until after we graduate (2 years+).

I don't see the big deal in us getting married in a year. It is not that I am against having a long engagement, I just think for fiance and I it is kind of silly. We've pretty much been married for awhile now anyway. After my mom died and we started looking after my brother a friend commented "You guys have been dating for a year and now you have a 17 year old son!". And that was how it was for awhile. I know both of our families consider us practically married so why are they wanting us to wait?

They say we should wait because of the cost of weddings. But I would seriously be just fine with having the ceremony and then taking the family out to dinner. A pretty white dress is nice (and I have seen many beautiful ones that I like) and a reception would be a lot of fun... but I don't need that. Nor do I care about those things so much that I would want to delay getting married.

I think there is some other reason they are holding back from us but why? And what is it? It bugs me so much when people don't tell me things. Especially when it comes to major things like this. And when it has to do with a decision that is mine (and fiance's) to make.

And there are other things too. Much smaller things that aren't as important but still confuse me nonetheless.

1) My kitchen. It is so poorly laid out that it is hard to organize. I am so used to large, spacious kitchens that what we have feels like a shoebox sometimes. Ever since we moved in I have organized and re-organized the kitchen every few days. I think fiance is getting a little annoyed. But I just haven't found a way to organize my kitchen yet that I like for more than a few days.

2) Probability theory homework. I don't even know where to begin. Seriously. I take notes in class, I *think* I understand everything and I try to do the homework and I don't get it. At all.

3) My fish tank. Why is the water green? All the levels (ammonia, nitrite, nitrate, etc.) are OK. I changed part of the water. I checked the filter. I cleaned the bottom of the tank. Why is it green? My fish seems to be doing just fine but I am a little worried.

When I start to get overwhelmed by one thing, every other problem (whether important or not) overwhelms me even more. I need to relax for the night.

4 Responses to “Confusion in the air”

  1. Broken Arrow Says:

    Interesting that they would tell you to wait.

    Well, from a strictly practical standpoint, I agree it is a good idea to wait for major life changes until you're done with college. Ideally, it'd be better to wait until you already have your careers established....

    But it's your life, not theirs. You can marry whenever you want. Smile

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    My best friend married at age 19 to her 20 year old Marine husband. They are still married 17 years later!! If you are committed, you can make the marriage work regardless of when.

    If you both are ready...then there really is no reason to wait.

  3. monkeymama Says:

    The only class I ever took in my life that I did not *get* is statistics. Blech! Calculus was a close second, but I think calculus was easier. Wink I know how you feel!

    As far as waiting, it's just the general wisdom. My spouse wanted to wait until after college (about 4 years!!!), but no one in my family really cared since they all married in college. We didn't live together in college, but besides that we were practically married those 4 years anyway. In our case, it wouldn't have made any difference. IT's probably wise to wait, though it may not matter in the end.

  4. whitestripe Says:

    well, DF and I have been living together since before we were actually together and don't really plan to get married for a few more years yet. it is the same as you said; we are practically married anyway, but it differs to your view because i don't really see the point in getting married straight away. but, everyone is different and it is a personal choice Smile no one can tell you what to do because they aren't you!

    and don't worry, i get you on the kitchen thing!!! we came from our rental which i just wrote on nikas blog, had METRES of counter space and more cupboard space, to our place now which has a tiny kitchen. it frustrates me no end. the most annoying parts for me are a single sink (instead of a double) and our pantry which is a ridiculous design. a couple of times a month i will have taken everything out and rearranged it, DF will get home and go 'ummm... where is the peanut butter NOW?'

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